Excuse Me Sir, But Can You Spare A Dime-Piece?
Dear "The Dining Room Table,"
I am writing you about something that a lot of guys might not think is much of a problem, but I do. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 6 months. She is really pretty and has really big breasts. We are together all the time, but men look at her, even when I am holding her hand and obviously her boyfriend. I never say anything to these guys, but I am starting to get really pissed off.
My question is, do I continue being a gentleman and not say anything, or should I do something? What do you think my girlfriend would want me to do?
jaimiekrishna: There is a fine line between being diplomatic and bashing someone's skull in with a brick. Men look-a lot. They are not even slick about it or try to hide it either. I can't tell you how many times I've walked down the street and passed a man. I turn around, and his beady little eyes are observing my rear end, legs, back-whatever he can see in his mere 2.5 seconds before he catches me catching him. Yuck... I have to admit I'm tempted to pick up the nearest rock and throw it at him, but then he might hit me back and we would both spend the night in jail.
It is the occupational hazard of having a beautiful woman on your arm-men will stare at her and care less about you. You are invisible to them. Men have a one-track mind and are still very much like primates. They know that they saw a male gorilla walking with the female gorilla through the streets of LA, but all they can think about is humping the female gorilla.
Of course, you could always buy your girlfriend a HUGE princess cut diamond ring, change her status from "girlfriend" to "wife", and tie her up in the closet and keep her there until she's so old her breasts are sagging to the ground. Realistically, you would have better luck just living a life with gratitude-you have a girlfriend who loves walking around town with you and who is proud to call you her man. And not only that-she's beautiful! Men would love to have what you have, so appreciate her. And as far as what to do when the other men look at her-nod your head at them and say hello. They probably won't hear you because they are primates (remember that: primates! primates! primates!), but it's better than my first inclination to hit them with a rock.
james: So how big are your girl's breasts? I'm just kidding. Really, send a picture next time so we can truly assess the scope of your problem. Ha Ha!!! These are just jokes. Seriously, my suggestion is that you ignore them unless they violate your space. I notice men looking at Jaimie all the time. They try to be slick about it - but I see them. Men look at attractive women but from my experience, they won't get out of line if the woman is with a man. It may be irritating but you have to know that you are not the only man in the world that finds your lady attractive. Deal with the looks unless the men are blatantly disrespectful. You'll look like a raging maniac if try to go upside the head of every gent that paws over your woman. You'll find yourself spending more time trying to pull your foot out of someone’s butt (or pulling one out of your own if you lack skills) than enjoying the beautiful woman that you have on you arm. And that is no way to spend a sunny day when your girl is walking around in thigh-high shorts and a halter-top. Its a zoo out there, kid - filled with caged animals, and you're walking in the middle of the primate's den during feeding hour - but just deal with what is on your plate and let them watch you eat. Hell, they could always go find their own portion of cornbread.
jaimiekrishna: Please send no pictures.
I am writing you about something that a lot of guys might not think is much of a problem, but I do. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 6 months. She is really pretty and has really big breasts. We are together all the time, but men look at her, even when I am holding her hand and obviously her boyfriend. I never say anything to these guys, but I am starting to get really pissed off.
My question is, do I continue being a gentleman and not say anything, or should I do something? What do you think my girlfriend would want me to do?
jaimiekrishna: There is a fine line between being diplomatic and bashing someone's skull in with a brick. Men look-a lot. They are not even slick about it or try to hide it either. I can't tell you how many times I've walked down the street and passed a man. I turn around, and his beady little eyes are observing my rear end, legs, back-whatever he can see in his mere 2.5 seconds before he catches me catching him. Yuck... I have to admit I'm tempted to pick up the nearest rock and throw it at him, but then he might hit me back and we would both spend the night in jail.
It is the occupational hazard of having a beautiful woman on your arm-men will stare at her and care less about you. You are invisible to them. Men have a one-track mind and are still very much like primates. They know that they saw a male gorilla walking with the female gorilla through the streets of LA, but all they can think about is humping the female gorilla.
Of course, you could always buy your girlfriend a HUGE princess cut diamond ring, change her status from "girlfriend" to "wife", and tie her up in the closet and keep her there until she's so old her breasts are sagging to the ground. Realistically, you would have better luck just living a life with gratitude-you have a girlfriend who loves walking around town with you and who is proud to call you her man. And not only that-she's beautiful! Men would love to have what you have, so appreciate her. And as far as what to do when the other men look at her-nod your head at them and say hello. They probably won't hear you because they are primates (remember that: primates! primates! primates!), but it's better than my first inclination to hit them with a rock.
james: So how big are your girl's breasts? I'm just kidding. Really, send a picture next time so we can truly assess the scope of your problem. Ha Ha!!! These are just jokes. Seriously, my suggestion is that you ignore them unless they violate your space. I notice men looking at Jaimie all the time. They try to be slick about it - but I see them. Men look at attractive women but from my experience, they won't get out of line if the woman is with a man. It may be irritating but you have to know that you are not the only man in the world that finds your lady attractive. Deal with the looks unless the men are blatantly disrespectful. You'll look like a raging maniac if try to go upside the head of every gent that paws over your woman. You'll find yourself spending more time trying to pull your foot out of someone’s butt (or pulling one out of your own if you lack skills) than enjoying the beautiful woman that you have on you arm. And that is no way to spend a sunny day when your girl is walking around in thigh-high shorts and a halter-top. Its a zoo out there, kid - filled with caged animals, and you're walking in the middle of the primate's den during feeding hour - but just deal with what is on your plate and let them watch you eat. Hell, they could always go find their own portion of cornbread.
jaimiekrishna: Please send no pictures.
posted by jaimie krishna & james manning | 10:48 AM
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